


while(!asleep()) sheep++;

by Goose_Goddess



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 03:57:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12950808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goose_Goddess/pseuds/Goose_Goddess
Summary: AUIdeas entry for day 7. From this prompt:http://auideas.tumblr.com/post/168310674452/aac-2k17-december-7thExtra Letters AUWhile trying to finish a piece of writing, Character A leaves their work unattended…only to return and find that someone had finished a sentence for them in the perfect way.





	while(!asleep()) sheep++;

Q rubbed his eyes. He’d retyped the last line of the subroutine three times now and every time he’d put in a typo. He was too tired to code. He sighed and glanced at his watch. No wonder. It was 4 a.m. He knew the team was anxious to have the new security measures in, but if he didn’t take a brief break he was going to have to completely rewrite anything he put together while this tired. He quickly added a comment to his code noting where he’d left off, then put his laptop down on the table in front of his couch and staggered to bed. He was so tired he just collapsed onto his bed, face down and fell instantly asleep.

7 a.m. his alarm woke him. He struggled out of bed, stumbled through his morning routine and found himself at his desk in the office, not quite sure how he’d gotten there. Fortunately his team was used to mid-project Q, and someone had already dropped his mug of tea by his elbow and R tucked a biscuit in his hand. 

Q absent mindedly ate and drank while going through his log in routine, mind running through ideas on how to streamline the code he was writing. Sometimes taking a break and sleeping on an idea can help out, and this time his subconscious had come through. He pulled up his latest project and looked for his flagged comment. 

And stared at his code in shock.

He’d left off halfway through a tricky subroutine, and he always left himself a special comment flag so he could find where he was. But his flag was gone. He remembered putting the flag in. He might have put in a typo, but he doubted it. He always used the same flag and he was sure he could type the comment asleep, drunk, or underwater. He searched for the subroutine, and found it. 

There was no flag, because the subroutine was complete. It was done. In fact, the whole program was done. He ran through the code and not only was it done, it was a better approach than what he had originally planned; it incorporated the idea he’d come up with while travelling in to work. 

Five seconds later, he was running a full diagnostic on his laptop, and had his team checking all access to the network. 

That, of course, was when Bond walked into Q Branch. Q caught sight of him, and sighed. He didn’t have time for this now. Bond was between assignments, he knew, and bored Bond was always…problematic.

Bond wandered through the room staring at the frantic chaos. Q decided to ignore him. Maybe he’d just leave. He never got in the way of actual work, he was really only a problem when the team could afford to be bothered.

He was re-running the access records to his laptop (for the fifth time) when he heard the agent’s voice behind him, startling him into a jump.

“So what has all your minions so frantic?” Bond asked.

“Someone hacked my laptop.” Q replied. “We need to find out who, how, and stop it.” He took a deep breath and tried to calm his heart rate. He knew he got too focused on work and always jumped when people walked up to talk to him, but Bond seemed to make a point of startling him as much as possible. His minions had learned to approach from in front; Bond went out of his way to see how high he could make Q jump.

“You? Hacked? I don’t believe it.” To Q’s surprise Bond didn't sound like he was teasing. He sounded serious. “What makes you think you were hacked.”

“I stopped writing code last night and went to bed. This morning when I got to bed, someone had finished my code.” Q said. “I need to know who got in.”

Bond looked at him. “Someone hacked you and finished your code?”

Q looked up from his computer and frowned. “Yes.”

“Why would they do that.” Bond asked curiously.

Q shrugged. “Well, if I hadn’t realized I didn’t write the code, I might have put it into our systems. They could have put in a worm or a back door or…” his voice trailed off.

“And did they?” Bond asked.

Q shook his head. “No. I compared the new code to the code I finished at the office yesterday and there’s nothing no in there, except for a solution to a subroutine I didn’t even figure out until my trip in this morning.”

“And did anyone else access your computer, the network, or anything else?” Bond asked.

Q threw his arms into the air. “No! No one has gotten into my computer. I don’t even know how they could. But someone obviously did.”

Bond was looking at him seriously, but Q could see the grin he was hiding.

“What.” Q demanded flatly.

Bond just shook his head. “So what’s next?”

Q sighed. “I don’t know. There’s no sign of a breach.” His shoulders slumped.

Bond patted him on the shoulder. “Look Q, you’re exhausted. I suspect you just misremembered how far you got coding last night. Your team’s security here is incredible. If they say there hasn’t been a breach, it’s pretty safe to say there hasn’t been one. I suggest you have your team review your code. If they say it’s fine, and you look it over and say it’s fine, I have to believe it’s clean. Then, you go home at a decent time for a few days in a row and get some actual sleep.”

Q’s shoulders dropped. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m just a little paranoid.”

Bond grinned. “You’re a lot paranoid. A little paranoid is normal. Right now you’re so far beyond that you’re into tinfoil hat territory.”

Q looked down. “Okay. But I’m turning on a few extra security features on my laptop.”

Bond nodded and smiled. “Of course you will.”

The next time Q looked up from his computer, Bond was gone and the room had calmed down to it’s normal ordered chaos.

Of course, he wasn’t able to go home early that night. Or the next. Or the next. Life in MI-6 was predictable in one way—things always went wrong at the worst possible time. And that generally meant in the middle of the night.

Four days of that, and R and Moneypenny ganged up on Q and manhandled him out of the office and into a company car directed to take him home immediately. He grumbled in protest but had to agree he was running on fumes. And Earl Grey. 

He made it into his apartment, and opened the fridge. Nothing. Not even any leftovers. He sighed and put in an order for Thai. Then collapsed on his couch. He needed to stay awake long enough to eat something or he’d wake up in the middle of the night too hungry to sleep and with nothing to eat. So he pulled out his laptop and started coding.

He got dragged out of his coding when the doorbell rang. But he was right back into it while eating.

And woke up to a dark room, fast asleep with his laptop in this lap. He quickly entered his flag, after making sure he hadn’t been typing random characters in his sleep. Then he staggered into his room and fell into bed.

The next morning he actually felt halfway decent. He actually remembered his trip to work, and smiled as he set his laptop.

“Good morning Q.” Bond’s voice came from behind him, startling him badly.

Q groaned. “Bond. Must you.”

A dry chuckle was his only answer. 

Q decided that ignoring Bond was the best approach. He was certaining not going to reward the oaf for such annoying behavior.

“You look much better this morning.” Bond stated. “I see you’re finally getting some sleep.”

“Yes. In fact I did. Now did you need something? I..” Q froze.

“What’s wrong.” Bonds voice shifted from his teasing tone to his all business focused one.

“Someone’s been in my code again.” Q said flatly. “My flag is gone and there’s a whole new section.” His hands were flying over the keyboard. “No unauthorized access..” Then he pulled up one of the new security measures he’d put in place, pulling up a series of photos.

“What’s that?” Bond asked. 

“Camera shots of everyone who logged on.” Q said.

He flipped through the different shots, each time stamped. Then stopped at one, shocked.

“That’s you.” Bond said. 

Q nodded. “But it’s at..” he double-checked the time stamp, “4 a.m. I was sound asleep. I know. I went to bed at 1 and checked the clock when I got there. I didn’t wake up until my alarm went off.”

Bond laughed. “Leave it to you, Q.” He dropped his hand on Q’s shoulder. “Normal people sleep walk. You apparently sleep code. And good enough to impress yourself.”


End file.
